I find myself repeatedly asking “why” as if some narrator with a soothing voice, I pick Morgan Freeman, will calmly explain what happened and provide comfort. I keep wondering what I am going to do. I feel like I have never had such pain or loss or like I am the only person in the known universe who has ever had a breakup. I want to whinge and moan all over the interwebs until everyone knows my pain and somehow I become a meme…not a mean one though, something cute and funny maybe including a shark.
But the reality is I know I will survive, I know I am not the only person in pain, I am sure I am not even the only person dumped by text in the last 24 hours. This isn’t the end of the world it just sucks balls. Blah.
Continue reading “My Crappy Breakup, Cont.”
In order for me to actually achieve the results I want, I guess I need some goals. My New Year’s resolution to “suck less in 2014,” while accurate, doesn’t seem like a very positive guiding principle. I did come up with a couple words (PROFANITY?) that could help guide me, reduce and rejuvenate, but I think I need a bit more.
Time to channel my marketing background and make a plan. (THIS IS GONNA BE A SNOOZE)
My mission, I guess, is to live a happy fulfilling life (PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE’S, NO?) but that is a bit too broad to actually think about right now. Taking it down a couple steps what I want is to reclaim my life and enjoy turning 50. (UM NO BE HONEST)
Continue reading “Goals. Need Some.”
I keep asking myself how I got in this funk and so far I have no short answer.
I took some time to write about the events of the last several years and really there was no great tragedy, not one particular thing but an aggregate of events I am perfectly equipped to handle and didn’t. (NO YOU DIDN”T) I feel like such a whiner. (YES) I am trying hard to not beat myself up over this (GOOD LUCK) but that is hard. I am glad I wrote it down so I can acknowledge where I am in my life now but I need to look forward, shake this off and hopefully identify a few ways to prevent a repeat. (BLAH BLAH BLAH) Go me! (YES, GO YOU)
Continue reading “How Did I Get Here”
Even though I need to do more and ponder less, my first step to get out of my rut is more pondering. Pondering with a purpose to make an honest assessment of where I am and how I got here. I am pretty sure there are some inspirational quotes that perfectly fit here but I don’t feel like looking. (UM, THE INTERNET, YOU ARE ON IT)
I spent an afternoon in silence with a notebook, a handful of colored pens, letting my thoughts wander and writing down what seemed important. I paced, I played with my kitties, I doodled and I even dusted at one point. (BORING) I wish I could say I had some revelation but every thing that bubbled up, I already knew even if I was doing my best to not acknowledge it.
Continue reading “An Honest Assessment”
The purpose of this blog is to help me happily embrace my upcoming 50th birthday and to climb out of the rut I slowly slid into over the last few years. Enough with the pondering, it is time for the action.
Posts will include half-baked thoughts on what it means to be a better person, the not-so-awesomeness that is a healthy lifestyle, and the unexpected joys of aging. Other posts will be slightly embellished tales of spinster’s mundane life as well as a heavy dose of her ever-changing interests and obsessions.
My history with milestone birthdays is full of unnecessary dread and anxiety followed by a shrug on the big day, a realization that all the contrived stress was kind of silly and regret that I didn’t just enjoy myself. This time is going to be different. (FINGERS CROSSED.)
I am writing this for myself, there will be typos, some poor grammar and probably some rambling in need of an editor. (JUST WHAT THE INTERNET NEEDS) Oh well. I’ll live and so will anyone who stops by.
While getting older kind of blows, it is much better than the alternative so I may as well have some fun along the way.