The Path To A Sugar Tantrum

Sugar tantrums can be the result of a series of progressively less healthy choices or a sudden, overwhelming impulse; either way, sugar will be consumed in mass quantities.

Trying to make smart choices day in and day out gets tedious and challenging when that sugar fiend in your brain cries out for attention. It starts with a slip, a handful of almonds that turns into an armful, a fruit basket instead of a small apple, or a massive blob of thick, creamy dressing on salad instead of a light vinaigrette.

The slip might become a cheat, a bag of chips, a large slice of cake, or a plate of pasta smothered in alfredo sauce with a basket of bread and a stick of butter. And the cheat inevitably comes with regret. Inner voices alternatively scolding you for the lack of control competing with other voices telling you it is all right and encouraging you to start fresh. You suck but you can do it!

Sugar tantrums can also occur with no warning. You might be triggered by a commercial for a favorite childhood cereal, a bakery smell wafting at you on your morning walk, or just existing on this planet. If the trigger happens at a time when your defenses are down, yesterday’s kale is today’s Twinkies and Twizzlers and then tomorrow’s guilt. You suck but you can do it!

You could grab a bag of chips and a candy bar, but that is like saying, “oh poop!” when you really want to shout a string of profanity so intense and creative that the world will stop just to honor the achievement. So you will be unsatisfied but you are still going to have regret. You suck but you can do it!

So if you are going to regret it anyway, have one spectacular blowout! One feast to rule them all!! An indulgence so fantastic, you will wake the next morning ready to barf at the thought of ever eating sugar again. Your inner fiend will retreat into the deep crevices of your brain and you can start anew, free and determined to be perfect…but, for real this time.