Category: Operation Suck Less™

Sweating At Pilates

Pilates Instructor: Good. 8 more. 7….
Me: Okay. ::Feels sweat rolling down forehead::
Inner Voice 1: Ewwww. Gross. Sweat!
Inner Voice 2: Ugh. Sweat.
Inner Voice 3: Sweat is good, it means we are working hard.
Inner Voice 4: Hahahaha. No, it means it is really humid. Eww.
Brain: WARNING WARNING SWEAT HEADING TOWARD EYEBALL. ABANDON EXERCISE SWEAT HEADING TOWARD EYEBALL
All Inner Voices: Ewwwwwww.
Pilates Instructor: ….and done. Good job, working up a little sweat there too.
Me: Oh? I hardly noticed.

Slacking

Swim Instructor: How has practice been going?
Inner Voice #1: LIE! She does not need to know you have been slacking.
Inner Voice #2: You are an adult. Just tell her you didn’t practice. It is not like she can ground you.
Inner Voice #3: Don’t lie, just SPIN it!.
Me: With the nice weather, I thought I would take the opportunity to cross-train and power walk.
Swim Instructor: That’s smart. ::Blah, blah, blah, other stuff I didn’t hear after she said smart.::
Inner Voice #3: Spin for the win!
Inner Voice #1: Nothing you do can be called “power walking,” I’d say the lies win!
Inner Voice #2: I retract the “adult.”

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