Motivationally Challenged

It began slowly, like a tiny leak in an exercise ball, my enthusiasm for Operation Suck Less 2014 began to wane. Eating healthy became unappealing. Exercise became tedious. I struggled but managed to continue for several days when suddenly, I went completely flat and every ounce of motivation evaporated from my body. Nothing was left but an overwhelming desire to nap and nap hard. No silly power nap would do, I wanted the kind of nap where my face becomes part of the pillow and I wake up disoriented and trying to decide if my need to eat or go to the bathroom is greater than my need to just go back to sleep.

So after barely making it through my morning swim on Monday, I told myself it was okay to not make my daily walking goal and took several back-to-back naps. My kitty seemed to approve and the pillow crease in my face was deep. It felt good.

I knew this was a slippery slope; once off the crazy exercise train, it can be hard to get back on track. There was a part of me wanting to push on, ignore my desire to rest and go through the motion until the motivation miraculously returned. That part of me was convinced to shut up by the rest of me that wanted a nap. Maybe a rest would rejuvenate me and really what would 9,000 less steps actually mean in the long-term.My healthy eating took a similar detour. I didn’t go full on chips and cake gorging but I had some greasy Chinese and load of peanuts.

All of this happened while telling myself that this was temporary and I would start anew tomorrow.

Then tomorrow came and it was more of the same. Naps. Lounging. No exercise. Eating borderline crap.

And now it is another tomorrow. I want to just go back to bed but I have so much to get done today. I want to skip my morning swim and Pilates but I think I would feel better if I participated. I will be out of town this weekend so my routine will be interrupted then, maybe I should just wait until next week to get back on track. Or maybe I should make the most of these next couple days. What to do…what to do…






My Crappy Breakup, Cont.

I find myself repeatedly asking “why” as if some narrator with a soothing voice, I pick Morgan Freeman, will calmly explain what happened and provide comfort. I keep wondering what I am going to do. I feel like I have never had such pain or loss or like I am the only person in the known universe who has ever had a breakup. I want to whinge and moan all over the interwebs until everyone knows my pain and somehow I become a meme…not a mean one though, something cute and funny maybe including a shark.

But the reality is I know I will survive, I know I am not the only person in pain, I am sure I am not even the only person dumped by text in the last 24 hours. This isn’t the end of the world it just sucks balls. Blah.
Continue reading “My Crappy Breakup, Cont.”

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