My new shoes! My Star Wars Vans are jealous. Thanks to my friends and family who sent various messages and posts about these babies. It is like you know I like Jaws and sharks!
~~~^~~~\o/~~~~~
Swim Instructor: Omg,look at that a bruise on your shoulder! How did that happen?
::looks down, sees giant bruise for the first time::
Me: No idea.
Swim Instructor: You don’t seem concerned. I’d be freaking out.
Me: Meh. I have reached the age where I can’t worry about all the random bruises. I have to save my investigatory powers for remembering the word I was going to say or why I entered a room.
Crazy Dreams
Last night I had a horrible dream that I was being slowly killed by giant scented candles. It was like a Bond movie replacing the sharks and lasers with rows and rows of candles sucking the oxygen out of the air. Coconut-scented hair conditioner and Canadian wild fires can really mess with the mind.
Gear Up!
My face in all that crap will be haunting a swimming pool near you. Sorry in advance.
My lips never look as full and luscious as they do in the aftermath of an allergic reaction. :*O
Ugh. Freestyle.
Swim Instructor: I think it is time to work on the freestyle.
Me: Nope. Ummmmm. Maybe?
Swim Instructor: So what are you hesitant about?
Me: Breathing. Choking. Drowning. Being hauled out of here in an ambulance. And if I don’t die, finding a new gym that is close and reasonably priced where people don’t know the story of the drowning old lady.
Swim Instructor: Lets just focus on the breathing.
Bob Mould Concert
Bob Mould had the best encore set in recent memory. I wish I had a video of the whole performance!
– Cover of Prince’s “When You Were Mine” which is my favorite song on the first album I ever purchased of his
– Cover of The Ramones’ “Beat on the Brat” sung by Jon Wurster
– “Love Is All Around” (Theme Song from The Mary Tyler Moore Show)
– “Makes No Sense At All” one of my favorite Husker Du tunes
Swim Instructor: Were you thinking about your butt?
Me: God no, never.
Swim Instructor: Well it was doing exactly what it was supposed to!
Me: I have been dragging it around for over 50 years, ’bout time it was useful.
Swim Instructor: Your kick, while aesthetically pleasing, does very little.
Me: That is the goal, right? We still live in America don’t we?
Accidental Tornado Siren
Reasons I am NOT annoyed by today’s 6:15am accidental tornado siren:
– I was already up therefore reducing the chance of throwing out my back while leaping out of bed racing for cover
– My cats were also up so their untrimmed claws were not perched on my body ready to draw blood as they used me as a spring board toward their useless hiding spot
– I got to see the local weather reader give the forecast pretending he did not hear the blaring sirens until the news reader said, “hey, what’s that sound?” and he basically shrugged
– Chances of running into an extra perky morning person was significantly reduced
– Mind-numbing chatter from the Pilates class clique changed up for the first time in months
– Next time I set an alarm and mess up the AM/PM, I can think to myself, “at least I didn’t piss off a whole county”
sugar TANTRUM 