I have been trying to fill in that silly “About” page on this blog and I have no idea what to say. So for fun, I thought I would just write down everything that popped into my head about myself and see what came out. So this is me, sorta, not really, probably:
I am a woman of many moods and each one has her own soundtrack. I see things in shades of gray. Color makes me happy. I need to know the big picture to understand the details. I cry easily. I protect myself with a candy coating. I explain in analogies. I tell stories that are often too long. I have a short attention span. I forget to give thanks. I love both cats and dogs but wiener dogs and I don’t get along and they know why. I play with my food. I eat my pizza one ingredient at a time. Sometimes I forget how to drink and dribble on my shirt. I sort my candy. I love biting heads off gummi bears. I get overwhelmed with too much stimulation. I am creative. I am analytical. I believe we can’t know our beliefs until we say them aloud and see them reflected in the face of others. I ponder. I swirl. I meander. I lose track of time. I process my stress in my dreams. No truth is more painful than the one my brain can imagine. Big groups freak me out. I don’t read enough books. I am a human TV guide. Breakfast desert is the most important desert of the day. My subconscious tries to guide me but it can take me a long time to listen. I seek my own counsel and have a difficult time opening up to others. Once I decide, I am all in. I crush a lot. I fear irony. I forget to do things that make me happy. When I get frustrated, I lash out. I am uncomfortable when my lips are naked. Water is awesome. I bury my head too often to the injustices of the world. I still feel guilt for mean things I did as a child. Sometimes I just can’t deal. I cocoon. I do not get jealous of other people’s things or accomplishments. I collect. I am difficult to shop for. I am direct. When it comes to lipstick, convertibles and long hair, I can only have two comfortably. I have an excellent sense of direction. The time I got lost, it took me a week to get over it. I have only lost 3 things in my life and I have replaced one. I save things for later and get bored with them before I use them. I do not expect to always be included. I spend too much time on my B list and not my A list but at least it is not my C list. I don’t understand financial schemes, as they seem made up. Too many people suck. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. I judge. My favorites change but my likes never do. My beliefs about God would take too long to say here and require hand gestures. Science. Nature is spectacular and full moons make me smile. I get earworms easily. I love to sing to myself. Other people’s humming drives me nuts. Pedicures are a must, but manicures are an option. My best ideas come to me randomly in the shower. Most solutions come to me the next day after pondering. In my mind, I am an awesome DJ. Turns out my eyes are blue, not green but I remain unconvinced. I am sarcastic. I am a dork. I am serious. I am silly. I can do anything I put my mind to so the trick is to keep my mind blank. I like to poke my cats. I don’t always take good care of myself. I have a difficult time saying no. I want to be better at love and hope to find someone to practice with. My words can hurt. I am addicted to the unholy trilogy of sugar, salt and fat. Target is my hundred-dollar store. I am not as unusual as I like to think I am. I am unique. I make lots of typos. I still look at the keyboard when I type. I hate to call others in case I am catching them at a bad time. I don’t like baby talk. I accidentally talk baby talk to puppies and kittens. I limp. I like myself. I have a weird love of post-it notes. I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. I am smart. I like to make people laugh. I like people who make me laugh and are even smarter. I don’t suffer idiots. I hate being asked, “Do you like me?” I can never tell when someone is flirting with me. Now that I love dark chocolate, milk chocolate can go away forever. I swear often and creatively. I can flip the bird in 3 distinct ways. I cannot do the Vulcan salute. I have unusually strong toes. I love unique jewelry but do not wear it often. Bras are annoying. I never wear foundation. I have a tough time breaking up with TV shows. I have a neutral opinion of most people. My first impression is rarely wrong. My face betrays me. Music must match my mood or it is annoying. I like to craft. I like to cook. I get motion sickness. I love being an Aunt and make it my mission to be the best Aunt on the planet. It bugs when people pronounce the “t” in “often.” I am not sure if that last period is in the proper place. I love a guy with an accent but can find female accents grating. I can be slow to accept change, particularly if it is change I did not initiate or want. I turn down the radio when I am trying to think. I cannot whistle. I have not mastered The Force yet I continue to try. I like bananas only when they were green a minute ago and sliced. Coffee is gross. Cigarette and coffee break makes me gag. I am a realist, people probably think I am a pessimist but I also have significant moments of optimism. I have a repiphany (“an epiphany that has been forgotten, and then remembered again”) daily. I love sharks and Shark Week. When it comes to movies, I like stuff to blow up. When it comes to Eric Burdon I prefer War over The Animals but in every other case it is the opposite. I love the classic rock of The Beatles, The Who, Bowie and more but the music I identify with the most is the college rock, alternative, whatever you call it from the 80s and 90s. I am sentimental. I love antique Pyrex. Godzilla!! I don’t always enjoy the journey but still want the results. I have a hard time forgiving myself. I usually have multiple and conflicting voices in my head. I don’t have a favorite movie star but I have many that I avoid. Batman is my favorite Superhero. I have a vast collection of unused cookbooks. Sock monkeys make me smile. I will always like Barbie and all of her accessories. I own too many Funko Pops! I don’t own enough Star Wars Lego minifigs. The Happy Bunny makes me laugh. Did I mention I am a dork?