Whirlpool Conversation

Lady in Whirlpool: Are you in Psychiatry? (after telling me the detailed history of her left knee)
Me: Ahh…no.
Lady in Whirlpool: Wow, you seem so calm.
Me: Hmm. (inner voice A: that is just my disinterest. inner voice B: ::hysterical laughter::)
Lady in Whirlpool: Blah, blah, brace, blah, doctor………..

Ear Plug Livin’


Once12418958_10208021887725990_4568619666143247257_o, I would go to a concert with no coat, no matter how frozen the tundra, let my ears bleed, and enjoy a beer or vodka or both. Now it is coat check, ear plugs and solo cups with tap water. Where once was violent head bobbing or swaying appropriate to the performance, there is now fidgeting to keep the back from acting up. I still stand in my preferred location but must remind myself not to get annoyed by the bumping from punks in my space. I can always locate others older and crankier than me but I know there will come a day when I won’t. I will be the oldest, most frail, mostly deaf, outta style lady there. I will win!
#youkidsgetoffmylawn #muststayhydrated #ineedachair #turnitdown

The Hateful Eight

Went to the 70mm Roadshow – thumbs up. I love having an old-school overture and program. We had no major issues with the projection although the bottom of the film was blurry which was distracting at first. If you go, note that the movie starts on time with no previews…don’t be one of the idiots who came in for the first 15 minutes distracting everyone else while they searched for a seat in the dark. Also, if you have a bushy lumberjack beard don’t stroke and groom it the entire time, no one wants to be near that!

The movie itself is great, beautifully shot. No one delivers Tarantino dialogue as perfectly as Samuel L. Jackson although the rest of the cast was quite good as well. At one point the entire audience went “ewwwww” and it was glorious.


A short break from Star WarsAPalooza to appreciate some Idris. Three things that must happen to make me happy:

– Ygritte says “You know nothing John Luther.”
– The first bit of news he receives is total BS.
– Someone spills his tea and he is forced to change his shirt….oh…. and then magically becomes Bond, James Bond.

Good Morning Minneapolis!

On my way to Pilates in the dark, trying to convince myself I am awake, that my yoga pants are keeping my legs warm and that my hand is healed enough for the reformer straps, I was nearly overwhelmed by the urge to scream. The people waiting for buses at the Hennepin station looked like an artistic installation. Each person/pillar was placed just far enough away from the other to allow another human to weave her way through while still respecting personal boundaries, they stared blankly in different directions, no eye contact was not made or sought. As I made my way through the maze, I just wanted to shout, “Good Morning Minneapolis!!” joyously at the top of my lungs. I chuckled imagining the horrified and stunned looks on their faces as I shook them out of their catatonia. I wanted to shout but I didn’t. It was 6:30am and I am not a nutter.

A Visit To Urgent Care

Things an urgent care doctor does not appreciate on a Sunday morning*:

– Hilarious impression of Monty Python’s Black Knight, “Tis but a scratch”
– Asking why there are no references to zombie bites on the wound care handouts
– Asking if I should have just cut off my hand like they would do on The Walking Dead
– Asking for mega dose of vaccine for what ever waiting room dude was trying to hack up
– More hilarious impressions of Monty Python’s Black Knight
– Asking if pus is so bad, why does the body produce it
– Basically doing the entire Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

*Anti-vaguebooking footnote: Cut on hand from a kitchen knife, healed; cut on hand from a craft knife, nearly healed; itty, itty bitty barely puncture from cat on most-used index finger, blown up and cracked like too-quickly cooked sausage.

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