Ugh. Shortly after my breakup, an old acquaintance contacted me offering support and an ear. She was not someone I was particularly close to and someone I had always been tentative with as she could be unpredictable but I was on a kick to reconnect with old friends and could use an extra pair of ears.
We hung out briefly, the evening seemed harmless, and I really didn’t expect much to come of it.
I was wrong. I chose poorly.
It has been a couple days since I went full-on-psycho-ridiculous-obnoxious-creeper-ex-girlfriend-nutter and now I am filled with lots of ick.
I couldn’t take the lack of control or accept not being allowed to participate in our breakup; having no real answers was making my brain swirl at an exhausting rate. The sudden severing of a relationship that meant so much to me for so long left me unsettled and feeling lost, so I went looking.
I found a shadow, just enough information to give me a vague image of a truth. I still don’t know if what I have decided this shadow means is accurate, but it is a narrative that makes sense and one I can accept.
I spent a good amount of time trying to calm my brain down after the gummy bear discovery but nothing seemed to deter me from wanting to know more. I went full-on-psycho-ridiculous-obnoxious-creeper-ex-girlfriend-nutter and started looking everywhere for some scrap of information.
I am not even sure what I was hoping to find. But I found it. There for all to read was a tweet from new chick obviously referencing my ex, saying he “deemed her ‘irresistible’ last night.” “Last night” as in the second day of my visit when I was sitting next to him on the couch after a day touring various local attractions. What? When the hell did he have time? How did I miss this? WTF? How is this possible?
sugar TANTRUM 