Celebrity Opinions

How I react to every story about a celebrity opinion:
– Read headline while thinking “what NOW?”
– Scan story to get the gist, I don’t have time to read
– If celebrity agrees with my already formed opinion think, “Wow, such a genius. Preach!”
– If celebrity disagrees with my already informed opinion think, “OMG shut up! Who asked you?”
– If celebrity is Matthew McConaughey make fake barfing sound regardless of opinion

Post-Election Swastikas

Looking out the window to see what the storm left us and there is a giant swastika etched in the snow on a car. Ugh! I went outside to look around and found a crude snow drawing of 2 humans, I assume human, fornicating. One appeared to be a male with disproportionate genitalia usually reserved for wooden fertility gods and the other gender neutral. A thoughtful attempt to be inclusive? The 3 words scrawled next to the masterpiece, “F*** me PLZ,” told me a lot about the artist.

First, they are polite and their mother would be so proud. Second, they know what they want which is the first step toward success. Finally, sadly, they are frustrated and confused not sure how to get what they desire on a Friday night after last call.

I could pity them until the swastika is considered. Crude sex drawings and profanity on cars for many is an adolescent right of passage, even for the sad and lonely over 21 who can’t get any; I shrug them off and laugh. However, we can’t shrug and let symbols of such hate and violence become just as normal as a dick doodle. So, horny hater, in words you seem to understand, PLZ, f*** you.

-photos not included because no one needs that

Pence Goes To The Theater Then Drama

VPE Mike Pence attends last night’s performance of Hamilton:

-Pence was greeted with boos and cheers when he entered
-The crowd applauded extra loud at a few key phrases supporting freedom and immigrants
-The actor who spoke at the end, a norm for the musical, was polite and respectful and his words in tune with the musical not to mention the constitution
-Twitter mocks Pence
-Trump mischaracterizes it all on Twitter using the term “safe space” non-ironically
-Uninformed people, Newts, and those with something to do on Friday night other than read tweets, believe the President-elect and flip out
-I go slightly more insane, muttering about the Trump’s non-relationship with the truth and his bypassing of the press
-Energy is wasted by millions of every political affiliation to justify their different view but actually same position on freedom of speech

A Post-Election Walk

It is another gorgeous fall day, almost as if the sky is indifferent to my mood, so I decided to go for a walk and let the voices in my head wander free. Just as we had all agreed to strive to be non-hypocritical and a positive in this world, I got bit by a dog.

A little yappy dog on a slack leash with a distracted owner ran right up to me and chomped on my shin. The owner seemed genuinely surprised and said, “he doesn’t usually do that.” I had so much I wanted and could have said to her as I checked out the small, bleeding wound, but I just went with, “I understand,” smiled and walked away.

It felt good to be kind and empathetic and not add to the negativity in the world. I need to continue to do this more.
But, if I am being honest, I’m kind of being a smug, superior asshole now too so I guess it is just evens out. This positivity thing is tough to master.

Also, ^*%#!! ouch!

Russian Thinkfluencers

When watching this I had 2 conflicting thoughts:
1) When I was under my non radiation-blocking school desk during the nuclear bomb drills, I never imagined a disinformation war would have more impact on me.
2) Why can’t I get paid to be a dick on the internet?

The Internet is bonkers! http://theweek.com/speedreads/659537/lot-fake-donald-trump-news-coming-from-millennials-veles-macedonia

 

Reason #17 Why I Am The Absolute Worst

Me: All people want the same thing, harmony, safety, fairness, opportunity, chocolate, we just have differing opinions on how to get to what we want. People might disagree but that doesn’t make them evil. They might support a different candidate than me but that doesn’t make them stupid, they are just prioritizing their needs differently and have their own biases, just like I have mine. Even if the candidate I do not like gets elected, we can all still work together to make the world better. No matter what, we have to support free speech and everyone’s right to vote and express themselves.

::hears person talk about election::

Me: OMG morons everywhere!! What the hell is going on? Why is everyone suddenly so stupid? I should be the only one allowed to vote. Idiots. That’s it. No one talk to me ever again about anything. I need valium and whatever they prescribe for anxiety. Maybe an island full of wine, chocolate and cute animals. Aarrgh!! &^%$#@!!!!! ….breath….breath….breath…..2 more weeks…2 more weeks…

Cat Videos Help

Well crap. I finished. I have now watched every baby animal and “jerky cat” video in existence on the inter webs. Not sure how I am going to get through 2 more debates and 4 more weeks of this election so someone better film a kitty biting a puppy tail and both falling off a bed video soon or my head is gonna pop.