Celebrity Opinions

How I react to every story about a celebrity opinion:
– Read headline while thinking “what NOW?”
– Scan story to get the gist, I don’t have time to read
– If celebrity agrees with my already formed opinion think, “Wow, such a genius. Preach!”
– If celebrity disagrees with my already informed opinion think, “OMG shut up! Who asked you?”
– If celebrity is Matthew McConaughey make fake barfing sound regardless of opinion

Fussy

What I want to write about is not what my annoying brain wants to think about.

What I want to eat is not what my annoying fridge is currently stocking.

What I want to listen to, I have not a clue.

I wanted to walk in the sun, but I settled for the grey chill.

So now I will sit in silence, pick at a plate of chicken and veggies, and stare at a blank page until something gives.

 

A Conversation With A Friend

Friend: I finally read one of your blog posts.

Me: Oh really? Which ones?

Friend: Something you posted on Facebook.

Me: I posted a few there.

Friend: Umm, I can’t remember. It was really long though.

Me: So, it was so long you forgot already? Nice.

Friend: Well, longer than I expected. It was good (in an atypical high-pitched tone that was completely unconvincing.)

Me: It was long but maybe good and you have forgotten already. Now I am sad.

Friend: Well it was a day ago.

Me: I think I should go.

Friend: What??