With the recent Paul McCartney concert and Guardians of the Galaxy premiere, I have had a Seventies dance party swirling around in my head. I created a new mix including the tunes from “Awesome Mix Vol I” and those I think Star-Lord should have on Vol II.
You can listen on 8tracks https://8tracks.com/interactthis/galaxy-awesome-mix-vol-i-ii
or on Spotify: Guardians of the Galaxy Awesome Playlist Vol I & II
Enjoy the earworms!
Tennis elbow is a silly name especially as I have not played tennis since early childhood and never employed much repetition or force when I did. But, 1 of 2 doctors agree that I have this tennis elbow nonsense and completely agree they are stumped as to the cause thereby labeling it as insidious tennis elbow. Ohhh, “insidious,” that actually sounds kinda cool…I can deal with that…if I leave off the stupid tennis elbow part. Stupid weak-ass tendons.
Of course, I cannot just have a sore elbow but instead the pain must radiate down to my wrist and make my fingers all tingly and then shoot up to my shoulder inflaming an old car accident chronic whatever blah they call it. With this radiating pain, 1 out of 2 doctors agree that my problem is not tendon related but stems from some nerve cluster in my shoulder that is in dire need of a marketing strategy to develop a clever name like “tennis elbow” so I can remember what the hell it is called. Stupid nerves.
Whatever the cause, what started as a small “what the hell is that” twinge quickly devolved into a partially unusable dominant arm that hurts like a ^&^#$@er. It is as if my elbow was the last line of defense and when it collapsed the whole arm fell to the invading alien pain forces and my defenses have retreated to hopefully fight another day.
Ice. Motrin. Brace. Rest. Physical Therapy. No kettlebells. No weights. No a bunch of other stuff.
I can do all of these but the tricky part for me as always is the resting, or rather staying patient for as long as the resting is required while not going into full on coma-do-nothing-but-veg-couch-potato-bar-butt mode. Must stay engaged enough to still be productive and suck less but not overdo it and make things worse. Blah. It is a line I find difficult to toe.
I have stuff to do! Stuff to write. To craft. Adventures to document. I want to suck less!! I do NOT have time for some annoying connective tissue cords that do not feel like cooperating with the muscles and ligaments to move my arm parts without pain or a cluster of nerves that want to fire non-stop and set my arm on fire. Whichever it is, I have no time for this crap.
A few months ago I had a back episode that luckily went away fairly fast, I am hoping this arm thing will resolve itself just as quickly; it is really aggravating to be such a delicate flower! I am hopeful this morning, as I feel much better than I have for over a week so I am trying hard to not overdo it by typing, walking, cleaning and battling a squirrel that is trying to eat her way into my living room as the cats snooze unconcerned on the couch. However, I am preparing myself for a few months of tender loving care, especially since it takes so dang long to get physical therapy appointments and the true cause seems to be a stumper.
Once I am all healed, I look forward to swimming in a straight line, sleeping through the night, gripping things, not dropping my phone on my big toe, walking with my arm swinging naturally, not dropping a knife almost on my big toe, the end of motrin stomach, understanding advanced calculus, not stubbing my big toe randomly and an overall physical perfection only otherwise achieved through good lighting, a professional blowout and Photoshop. I will be happy with any of those. Especially the last one. And all involving my big toe.
Not really related but still annoying, in this on-demand day and age why can’t I find a legal way to watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier?? So lame! My Marvel Universe fest has been stymied.
Music is awesome but I can still get things done when listening so sometimes I have to warm up the television and couch to prevent any actual accomplishments. My thoughts on the shows I have watched over the last few months when I have have not been doing my To Do list.
The Good
Last Week With John Oliver – Funny and informative outrage ftw.
Fargo – I will watch it again, and renewed for Season 2 which pleases me.
Game of Thrones – Already waiting for the next season.
Silicon Valley – The final episode sealed my love of the show.
Veep – I wish I could insult people as creatively.
Almost Royal – I have no idea if the people they interact know this is a gag but the two “royals” are hilarious in character.
Idris Elba: King of Speed – Hot dude, great voice and fast cars. Works.
The Bridge – Famke Potente is an excellent creepy addition for the new season.
The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail – Hard to transfer a live night of comedy to 22 min of TV but it is funny and I want to hang out with these guys.
Dominion – I started watching and couldn’t stop. Lots of intrigue and creepers walking on the ceiling.
Louie – Uncomfortable humor makes me think and laugh and think again later.
Vikings – Violent but a good story and with some amazing blue eyes as well.
Hannibal – Violent with a great story that kept me guessing all season.
In The Flesh – A different take on zombies.
The Americans – Great second season and I did not see the twist at the end coming.
The WTH
Penny Dreadful – Eva Green was awesome but I could never decide of I actually liked the show or just liked the weird.
Salem – I watched, but I will pass on any more.
The Strain – Two episodes down but I can not decide if this is good or just entertaining fun.
The Meh
Halt and Catch Fire – The ladies are awesome and the dudes are not likeable. This seems to be a trend in period pieces.
Food Network Star – Still watching, still no favorite.
Drunk History – Amusing when I catch it but not a must-see for me.
The Wil Wheaton Project – I watch it to geek out with Wil.
Married and You’re The Worst – The pilots for both were good but it is premature to say if they are keepers.
Suits – I like the show but the long story arcs get a bit tedious.
Orphan Black – I should like it more but it seems like they are going in circles at time to add more clones.
The Awful
True Blood – This season sucks and not in the hot way Eric used to suck but in the stupid annoying way Bill has always sucked but dumber.
Sweden – I wanted to like it but it is not funny and makes me read subtitles too much.
I need to break up with my TV so I can get more done.
Since seeing Million Dollar Quartet I have listened to quite a bit of music from the early Sun Records era and various offshoots where I was led….this is a favorite and I like to imagine it is about me…if I was much older than I am.
I was pretty meh about this song initially but the chorus keeps popping into my head and it has grown on me. The video is amusing as well.
This song isn’t technically new but it is my new-to-me music obsession and fun to sing along with.
I really need to stop procrastinating…but…there is probably more music to play with….
I started Operation Suck Less 2014™ for many reasons, one being I wanted to have a fun 50th birthday and not a crabby, sulking one similar to my 40th. In that spirit, I am planning the “Yay I’m Almost 50 North American World Tour Xtravapaloooooza!™” an event that is clearly in dire need of a logo. Note to self, cultivate logo skills in the next month.
My Xtravapaloooooza will cover 2 countries and 10 states and will involve, planes, cars, boats, a helicopter, canoe (maybe), buses, lodges, cabins, yurts and more. I will be joined by a sister, a cousin, a niece, more cousins, friends and a plethora of strangers I shall meet along the way. There will be musicals, museums, hiking, swimming, walking atop a skyscraper, concerts and comedy. It will be an adventure fit for a younger version of the old lady reluctantly becoming older that I am.
I have researched each city as completely as possible, thank you Internet. I have all of my options organized in apps. I have reservations where it felt necessary and not too constricting. I never want to plan a trip again let alone several at once.
If this Xtravapaloooooza does not distract me from the fact I will be a half-century-old and getting older, nothing will. Yay 50!!
I imagine some dudes were sitting around having a drink and a smoke when they began laughing at how humans will do anything if they believe it will help them lose weight and become a sexy beast. One thing lead to another, shots were taken, and eventually they came up with the idea of giant-ass ropes that humans will wave up and down earnestly believing that they have finally discovered the magical secret to flat abs and super hero strength.
I bet these dudes laughed even harder the next day, hung over, when they looked at their ideas sketched on bar napkins. The laughs must have continued as they enjoyed a brunch Bloody Mary and one dared the other to actually see if he could get his trainer clients to perform the feat.
And he did, and the client did, and they named this crazy exercise routine the Undulation Ropes. And then a bunch of stuff happened and one day I found myself in the gym standing in front of these giant pieces of poly blended material laughing my ass off. Side note: If only I could laugh my ass off, working out would be so much more awesome. I would take freezing my ass off too but only if it could be done symmetrically.
So I stood there, one rope in each hand, lifted them up and promptly returned them to my side. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I am supposed to what? And this will help me what? And how do I not look like a tool?
Finally I composed myself and began. Legs hip-length apart, ropes firmly in each hand and I used my whole body to slam these ropes down to create a single wave. The exercise is called “single wave” meaning the two ropes work together to form a continuous wave pattern. For me, I created one wave that petered out before it even made its way down the length of the rope.
Hahahahahahahahahaha. I began to laugh again at how so much effort on my part resulted in such a limp output from the rope. I continued and eventually I managed to get a wave formation flowing…barely. Also, flowing was the sweat off my body. So gross.
I was exhausted. I wanted to curl up in a ball on the floor mat like I used to do in kindergarten and take a nap. Only my desire to not make a bigger spectacle of myself kept me on my feet and heading home to my comfy bed.
Surely, this sweat and exhaustion will result in killer abs and melting hips! I want to believe! I am Mulder and the Undulation Rope truth is out there!
My inner Scully remains unconvinced, however. This sweat and exhaustion could be nothing more than a trap convincing us humans that we are totally going to be a svelte beast if we continue thwacking these obnoxious ropes down on the gym floor in a rhythmic pattern until we can no longer move when in fact we are just looking silly for the amusement of others.
Even knowing it is a trap, knowing I look like a ridiculous tool using all my might to barely move these thick, heavy ropes, I am going to thwack again and hope for the best. After all, I am human and I want some fat melt. And until I can actually laugh my ass off, I will undulate ropes and throw in the laughs just for fun.
It has been 4½ months since my crappy text break up. It feels like just yesterday. It feels like an eternity. It was just the right amount of time for his new chick face to sell her stuff and move part way across the country to live with him.
I knew it was coming but that didn’t stop the post in my Facebook stream from feeling like a jolt. Just another reminder, an inconsiderate one, how quickly and completely one can be erased and replaced.
It is a weird feeling being sad about something you no longer want or maybe never actually wanted at all; it is an incomplete emotion but luckily fleeting. She has what I wanted to want but not what I want.
There are things I still miss about him but I don’t miss being lied to and all the nonsense. Change happens at different speeds for different people and I just move a bit slower I guess. I hope he finds the happiness he is looking for…mostly hope…like 95 – 97%.
My greatest love of all might just be Old Dutch Dutch Cruncher Potato Chips. I love them. I love how they crunch, how they taste, how they smell. I even love the greasy fingers I am left with after pounding a bag as it makes my hands feel so soft. They are the perfect thickness of chip with the perfect amount of fake flavor coating. They do not cheat on me, lie to me or make me cry and they are always there whenever I need them. My last meal needs to be a bag of Mesquite Bar-B-Que chips and a piece of chocolate cake. Mmmmmm.
But, with Operation Suck Less 2014 ™ I have had to forgo these tasty morsels as part of my attempt to kick my triangle of death addiction that is salt, sugar and grease.
When I first gave them up in February, it was easy but about a month later I could hear them calling to me from the grocery store begging me to eat them. I had to plan my shopping visits very carefully so I would not succumb to their taunts. I even dreamt about them one night which is rather creepy. The junk food addiction is strong in this one and my body did not know what to do without its familiar fuel. My will power held fast and eventually I forgot about my love and moved on to other less satisfying but better for me snacks.
My will power held strong, until last night.
I grew up with big dogs, a German Shepard and later a Labrador Retriever, but one of my grandparents had a smaller dog, a dachshund or a wiener dog which is a bit easier to spell when I remember that “i” before “e” rule. I liked the dog okay and even tolerated its annoying habits until the day I learned it had been sent to earth by Satan just to get me in trouble.
The dog, I have blocked out its name and gender from my memory, was light reddish brown, a hair color I acquired myself once from a bottle, with the typical wiener dog characteristics of a long body, stubby legs and a long nose. I remember it being rather lean compared to some of the others of the breed I had seen. The shape of this creature fascinated me. How these 4 stubby legs managed to keep the long body off the ground, barely off the ground but still not dragging its belly on the sidewalk, perplexed me.
Continue reading “Memories, Like The Time I Learned Wiener Dogs Are Satan’s Spawn”
I have been looking for new ways to max out my heart rate and burn calories as part of Operation Suck Less 2014™ and this quest led me to an unexpected relationship with the kettlebell.
Kettlebells are not a glamorous looking piece of equipment, just balls with a handle on them. They are of Russian origin and I vaguely recall a flood of infomercials touting their miraculousness several years ago with they were the new IT exercise. They are simple yet intimidating enough that they sit on shelves mostly ignored at my gym.
I had begun working with a Pilates instructor again and as we talked about my sucking less goals she suggested we skip the reformer for a day and try something new. She grabbed a kettlebell and excitedly demonstrated the kettlebell swing as if I was somehow going to be able to perform this feat.
Continue reading “Kettlebells Suck But In A Good Way, Mostly”
sugar TANTRUM 