Category: Operation Suck Less™

Sweating At Pilates

Pilates Instructor: Good. 8 more. 7….
Me: Okay. ::Feels sweat rolling down forehead::
Inner Voice 1: Ewwww. Gross. Sweat!
Inner Voice 2: Ugh. Sweat.
Inner Voice 3: Sweat is good, it means we are working hard.
Inner Voice 4: Hahahaha. No, it means it is really humid. Eww.
Brain: WARNING WARNING SWEAT HEADING TOWARD EYEBALL. ABANDON EXERCISE SWEAT HEADING TOWARD EYEBALL
All Inner Voices: Ewwwwwww.
Pilates Instructor: ….and done. Good job, working up a little sweat there too.
Me: Oh? I hardly noticed.

Slacking

Swim Instructor: How has practice been going?
Inner Voice #1: LIE! She does not need to know you have been slacking.
Inner Voice #2: You are an adult. Just tell her you didn’t practice. It is not like she can ground you.
Inner Voice #3: Don’t lie, just SPIN it!.
Me: With the nice weather, I thought I would take the opportunity to cross-train and power walk.
Swim Instructor: That’s smart. ::Blah, blah, blah, other stuff I didn’t hear after she said smart.::
Inner Voice #3: Spin for the win!
Inner Voice #1: Nothing you do can be called “power walking,” I’d say the lies win!
Inner Voice #2: I retract the “adult.”

Eating Healthy

I definitely eat slower when I am eating healthy…Each bite my mouth can’t decide if it sucks and my brain has to work extra hard to convince it to swallow.

In related news, puréed cauliflower is yummy. Or so says my brain.