Kitty devours his gross canned food and his hypoallergenic, expensive-as-hell dry pellets, but my protein bars are so offensive he repeatedly attempts to bury them while I “enjoy” breakfast.

Either he is pro eggs and bacon or he thinks I should just have some of the Christmas cookies in the freezer.

Things I Recently Forgot To Do In The Proper Order

Put glass to mouth before tilting.

Put on the lotion before putting on the jeans.

Push in clutch before attempting to shift.

Put car in neutral before attempting to idle.

Put leg in car before shutting door.

Remove thumb before shutting cabinet.

Think before speaking.

Play with cat before everything.

Bring money before shopping.

Plug in vacuum before attempting use.

Put vacuum away before attempting to step over it.

Retract toes before stubbing.

Proofread before publishing.