So after writing a lengthy email to my ex, swirling about sending it or not at a dizzying pace, the craziest and most unexpected thing happened, he reached out to me.
I was pacing in the hallway working to hit my daily steps goal as measured by my trusty fitbit, when I heard an alert I had not heard in weeks; I had an email message from him. I stopped so suddenly I think I threw out my back and immediately read it. It was nice, it told me some of what I needed to hear and it lifted the black hole of dread that has been hanging on my shoulders for weeks. It doesn’t make up for all the bad behavior but it made me feel better.
Unexpectedly, he found out about this blog and read it. I had not planned to make this public when I first set about to process all my crappy feelings so what I wrote was not filtered. Well, there were those fairly creative revenge fantasies I chose to keep to myself just in case I decided to implement one; I watch “Law and Order” I know only idiots leave a digital trail of their crimes.
I have mixed feelings about him reading these thoughts but maybe it is a good thing. It could not have been easy for him to take in the words but still reading about the results of his crappy behavior is probably easier than actually facing it as it occurred.
What comes of this now, I have no idea. It would be nice if we could build some kind of a friendship but I got what I wanted at this point; I have a connection and I know he does not hate me.
It occurs to me my blog now has magical powers. Maybe if I try posting something else I hope to happen, it will come true as well. Here it goes
I want a time machine so I can go back and hang with some dinosaurs
I want to finally master the force
I want a pet shark or a dragon or a sharkdragon
I want a separate planet where I can send everyone that bugs me and where it is always humid and hot and there are no natural fibers or creams to relieve rashes
I want a smaller butt without putting in any effort to get it
I want calorie free chocolate cake that is full of protein and all those good things we supposedly get from veggies
I want to Suck Less in 2014™
I will be satisfied if I only get the last one but I am trying to think big. C’mon Universe!