This morning I woke up cranky, sleepy, sore, craving hashbrowns and with a meh Stevie Wonder song stuck in my head; my dreams were so annoying I couldn’t wait to stop dealing with them.
A year ago today I got back together for the last time with my ex-boyfriend and the fact that I am aware of this date and feeling a bit sad just irritates me. Actually, the whole getting back together thing is what annoys me and I wonder why we ever did.
I have regrets. Knowing where our relationship went, or didn’t, makes the whole exercise feel like a waste of time and energy that could have gone elsewhere; it seems to have served the sole purpose of biding time until he could meet new chick face and move on. Well, I guess we did watch every Godzilla movie so there was that, but now I associate Godzilla with him too so that just rankles me.
Having regrets is stupid and pointless and aggravating and more pointless and even though I feel that way at times, I mostly don’t. I guess. I’d have to go all the way back to never meeting him anyway which I don’t want. Pointless.
It just irks me that I still have moments where I miss him. It is tiresome. I am running out of new words for annoying, which is galling, exasperating and chaps my ass as they used to say.
We text but don’t have real conversations and maybe someday I will get used to that and some of his vexing etiquette, or at least not get pissed off or bent out of shape or miffed. Did I use miffed already?
I tried to walk off my morning crabbiness but it didn’t completely work although it did take care of my sleepiness. I managed to eat some hashbrowns, which satisfied my craving and eventually that Stevie Wonder song went away until I just typed this and it is back and that really gets my goat.
I guess today was I was just meant to be in a mood and, after all these years, that I can’t control my mood is really what angers, annoys, exasperates, galls and ticks me off the most.
sugar TANTRUM 