In all my travels, I have only hated one city and that city Cleveland, the Mistake on the Lake. Every time I hear the C word, I mutter “f#$k@ng Cleveland” to myself. Every time someone asks me to explain why I hate that hell hole, I see the look of regret on their face as I launch into a point-by-point detailed rant about my time there that often requires ducking to avoid my animated gestures.
Even at this point in my post, my jaw hurts like hell from clenching it trying to repress the profanity.
After my first night there I woke up expressing understanding for Art Modell and The Move to Baltimore. The 13 year old niece I was traveling with did not get the reference but knew I meant something.
Even though I do not follow Basketball, the payoffs were hell. I had to replace my filter repeatedly so as to not spew “f#$k@ng Cleveland” randomly in public. Although, from what I understand of the result, I might have gotten a high-five or two.
And now we have the RNC convention. Between the Trumpcapades and the host city, my soul might not survive this week; I am a delicate flower after all.
I am going to try some breathing techniques, chanting positive mantras, journaling, and enjoy some extra dark chocolate at night as I try to keep me calm. I would love to break my Pavlovian response to any mention of C-town but I probably have a better chance of never eating sugar again…especially since I stocked up.
To celebrate and distract my thoughts from my upcoming 50th birthday, I have been going on some adventures in what I am calling the “Yay I’m Almost 50 North American World Tour Xtravapaloooooza!™.” One thing that surprised me returning from my road trip was my lack of excitement to share my stories beyond my family; I had an awesome time so I am not sure why I was so quiet. But before my old brain starts to forget, it is time to get documenting.
My first adventure was a road trip around The Great Lakes with my 13-year-old niece; each day was completely different from the next and it is hard to pick a favorite activity. Some highlights:
Day 1 – I relaxed with a pre-trip pedicure then collected my niece and promptly got a speeding ticket. Discovered the niece likes my homemade kale chips. Lowlight: Speeding ticket. Bonding: Speeding ticket.
Day 2 – I got up early and renewed my expired car registration at the DMV then headed north for lunch at Gordy’s Hi Hat in Cloquet. The wind was so strong near the shore in Duluth the birds could barely get off the ground. Split Rock Lighthouse gave us our first chance at accidental learning. Gooseberry Falls was flowing like mad. My niece tried and even liked the Walleye at the lodge right on Lake Superior with the crazy loud tiny frogs. We repacked bags in more practical manner. Highlight: The view and sounds of Superior from our room at Cove Point Lodge in Beaver Bay, MN; we had a comfortable patio for relaxing or could walk out right to the rocky shore and it was a fab way to begin our trip. Bonding: Sharing the joy of singing “little old lady got mutilated late last night” from “Werewolves of London” by Warren Zevon.