Part of my Internet exploration led me to the 5 stages of relationship grief. This immediately piqued my curiosity, as I want to make sure I do this correctly, just like normal humans.
Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
I think I have already experienced each stage a few times. I am not sure how the normals do it, but I keep bouncing around all over the place. It is almost like a game of Simon (yes I am old) where I am just following some random light pattern.
I wake up feeling good, go about my day and then bam! I am sad and want to go to bed. I start to imagine things are not really like they are and then suddenly I am mad, then anxious and pacing about, then sad, then fine knowing it is for the best. It makes me dizzy.
The only thing that seems to be consistent is the pit in my stomach. It has not subsided since we broke up. I want it to go away, but it does help the diet so at least I have that.
I want this to be done. I want to hit that acceptance stage and stay there and focus on the rest of my life but I am not done. GRRR. This article supports what I already know; this is a process with no time limits and can’t be rushed. BOOOOOOOOOOOO.
It does end with a funny and accurate aside comparing grieving to digestion. So maybe my stomach issues make sense…and maybe spewing all over this blog does as well…got to get it out of my system so I can enjoy something good again.