The Day I Faceplanted on Rockefeller Center

My primary skill in life is taking a tumble for no apparent reason. Anyone can slip going down icy hills or trip over misplaced toys on stairs, but I fall on perfectly flat ground with merely microscopic imperfections. Of course, the best falls occur surrounded by strangers; you get a skinned knee and a new story, they get a good laugh, it’s a classic win-win. So everybody won the day my face decided to get an up close and personal view of the pavement at Rockefeller Center in New York.

The secret to a spectacular pavement splat is having exactly zero core engagement. If my abs are firing, even slightly, I might do a wild interpretive dance and pull a muscle or two but I can still manage to stay upright.

I have cultivated a mushy core over the years with the assist of various couches and televisions, but just being out of shape is not enough. I find to get absolute zero core value it is essential to be tired and distracted. Exhaustion assures any dormant muscle fibers lack the will to try to fire and being distracted prevents the brain from attempting any counter measures by remaining unaware of the eminent body blow.

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