When I decided to finally put all of my various writing thingies under one umbrella, I knew there might be a clash or some confusion with the different types of posts included, as in stories verses personal thoughts.
Posts about My Crappy Breakup and Operation Suck Less in 2014 are mostly personal thoughts, a glorified journal really, that for some reason I thought would be a good idea to make public. These thoughts are those things rattling around in my head that are demanding time and attention and require that I spit them out so that other thoughts have some room to breathe. While true and accurate, they are not complete. It would be impossible to be complete. Seriously, impossible.
Sometimes, as people read what I am putting out there, thank you by the way, there is an assumption that this is it, that it is my whole truth. Again, it is a slice of the truth but maybe lacking some nuance, pages and pages of detail and key point of others that are omitted for privacy reasons; I try very hard to not betray any confidence of my ex-boyfriend, including something rather hefty he is dealing with right now, because that would be beyond uncool.
So these assumption have lead to concerned emails, text messages and more. All understandable. All sent out of love and concern. Nearly all place me in a weird position of defending or explaining my thoughts that have since passed and sometimes even defending my ex-boyfriend. I think this is to be expected I guess but I hope it will subside.
So a few things:
-This is my process; this is how I have always worked through things only, in this case, it is public instead of on post-its or journals.
-I am good now. I get emotional or down for a bit, I swirl a lot but really I am good and feel like I am heading in the right direction. Really, I am goooood.
-I have not given up my power nor is my ex solely driving things between us. I am trying to figure things out and this is all new.
-Yes, I think it is worth it to be his friend. If I ever feel it is not, we will drift apart as could happen anyway.
-I am in fact getting old, don’t lie to me and tell me I am not.
-I know the word “Spinster” has implications but it is accurate.
Also, I am editing my last 2 posts about My Crappy Breakup. There are a couple bits nagging at me and I want things to be accurate for my future self-help book for over thinkers by an over thinker about all the stuff we over think.