Yesterday I cleaned out my purse and found a small trinket from my last visit with my ex; remembering the day made me smile. Then I smiled again because I was smiling. It was a regular smile fest all over the place.
I took this as a good sign to finally tuck away those things that reminded me of him…or at least the ones that solely reminded me of him not the awesome stuff he gave me that fit with my other awesome stuff to make things more awesome.
It felt like it warranted some cleansing ceremony, a cake, or something to mark the occasion but it was just a nice moment to reflect. I am a bit too sentimental for my own good and I can’t throw these things away, so everything is tucked nicely in a box or a folder in my computer; maybe someday they will hit the trash but probably not.
I looked at our crappy breakup text exchange and while he did not exactly tell me the whole truth, he was as honest as I think he could muster. I still think it is an awful way to end a relationship and made things much more difficult than it had to be, but I forgive him and I want to just hold on to the good.
I looked at the email I sent him after and it said what I wanted to say and what I would say now if given the chance. Of course it still took me a month to swirl and over think every detail until my heart and mind were in sync; I wish I could accept things more quickly but I am who I am I guess.
I am not completely over my crappy breakup, I am still not whole, but I feel like I have moved forward and I am beginning to let go.