So my ex-boyfriend was involved with another woman while we were together and lied to me. When he dumped me by text message, he gave me little information and allowed me to make an assumption about the reason that had nothing to do with this new person. I knew there had to be more to the story but it took me a while to put the pieces together.
At best, my ex stumbled upon another girl online and started flirting, then decided he was no longer in love with me, broke up with me in a lame way because it was too hard to do otherwise and then started up with the new one and they hit it off quickly. At BEST.
At worst, he has been looking for a new love the whole time we were together and was just using me to pass time until he found her. It is probably somewhere in between, my heart says it was closer to the best-case scenario but I will never know the truth.
My ex is a master at what I call “deceptive truths.” Telling a truth in a way that presents him in he best light and, while fact based, there is something inherently deceptive and manipulative in how he goes about it. It gives him the feeling of starting fresh and being honest and the person on the other end feels like they are special for being the receiver of such truth.
He is not the only one who does this, just one of the best.
I fell for this when we first met so when we got together I was not blind to his abilities; I thought my eyes were wide open. So finding I was lied to and was oblivious is difficult for me to accept and nearly impossible to forgive myself. I feel foolish. I suppose it is better to be a fool than to live in constant suspicion. Maybe. Probably.
I can hear everything he said to me then and I wonder if history did not repeat itself on some level with new chick. Did he say the same things to her as he did to me? Did she know I even existed? I am certain she did and that she feels special for having been the receiver of his truth.
I am sure everyone who has been in my situation felt they were somehow immune to getting bit by the deceptive truths, that we are special, but is anyone ever immune? Unless the liar wants to stop and actually makes a change, he/she will revert to their core self at some point and do it again. And again.
Karma is a bitch and it bit me hard.